Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Letters to Myself at 9, 13, 15, 18, 22, 29, 30 and 34...

Dear 9 Year Old Mandy...
This year will be difficult. 
Your first encounter with loss and grief.  You will not have the power to change what happens around you, to your family, but nothing will be your fault.  And while you are right that life will never be the same...you will also be okay. 

Dear 13 Year Old Mandy...
Spend more time with your sister than you do your friends.  She looks up to you, loves you and wants your time...one day she will live hours away and be so busy with her own life she won't have time to sit in the bathroom and talk to you while you get ready.  Let her borrow your clothes, she will take them anyway and give them away so she doesn't get caught...if you let her wear them you might get them back.

Dear 15 Year Old Mandy...
Don't kiss the OTHER boy, it isn't worth it.  You will lose someone you will spend years trying to win back...your impulsive decision will result in many tears and missed opportunities.  Though you will marry the boy whose heart you broke...there will be tremendous heartbreak in the process of winning him back.  He is the one...he really is.

Dear 18 Year Old Mandy...
If you listen to the letter prior...18 will be much easier.  Don't come home from Truman State University (NMSU), leaving Lindsay and your DZ sisters...stay and enjoy college knowing Keegan is NOT dating someone else...EAT for goodness sakes rather than worrying your parents...And stop playing immature GIRL games...he loves you...you will see.

Dear 22 Year Old Mandy...
It may seem like everyone else is doing it and you are the last unmarried girl in your High School class, but wait for the right one.  Don't hurt someone that should have stayed your good friend and don't let him spend years hurting you.  Don't get married for the sake of getting married...save shopping with your mom and sister for your wedding dress, picking the song to dance with your Dad, and promises of forever when there isn't a doubt in your mind...when part of you doesn't want him to open the door to the church and stop it all.  You aren't ready.

Dear 29 Year Old Mandy...
If you have ignored everything else, please listen to this...let him leave...when he threatens you...let him walk out the door...grieve and move on...you are strong enough though you won't think you are.  Don't get on your hands and knees begging...LET HIM GO.  Spend as much time as you can with your Grandpa...you will lose him this year.  Fortunately you are very close and have always spent a lot of time together...come home when your mom calls on the night he dies though...you will want to be there. 

Dear 30 Year Old Mandy...
You handle it all wrong, beating yourself up to a point that you are not able to enjoy the way life will unfold...you will finally become his wife...you will be blessed by a perfect baby boy...your friends will turn on you...say cruel, heartbreaking things...and as he moves mountains to be with you, does everything in his power to make you happy...you will take it all for granted, stressing him out...unable to enjoy that your heart is finally home.  Eventually you figure it all out and allow yourself to be happy...not before unnecessary arguing and turmoil.

Dear 34 Year Old Mandy...
Don't regret your mistakes.  Embrace the lessons you've learned along the way...lessons that gave you the ability to appreciate what you have...an amazing and handsome husband and two gorgeous little boys...All that happened in the past is the past and has played whatever role needed to bring you to today...don't dwell...just be...knowing it has all been worth it.

Monday, August 30, 2010

School Supplies...

School supply shopping for Aidan Kale is complete...
I had my first taste of school supply anxiety...
Which glue sticks were the best...
What did they mean by wipes...
Were Great Value tissues okay {I liked their box best}...
What about Great Value gallon size bags...
Should I get name brand...
And then the backpack...
Oh brother...
Decisions!!!!
I finally settled on this one...
His initials will be AsK...
How cute is that???
Open House is Wednesday...
I will keep you posted...

Emmy Recap...

I LOVE award shows...
And religiously watch them even if only on DVR...
The 62nd Primetime Emmy Awards were last night... Though personally I felt like fashion fell flat...




With a few exceptions...



The entertainment was GREAT...
I loved the opening act...

The tribute to discontinued shows...


But my absolute favorite part of the show...
Was watching Temple Grandin on stage to accept the award for TV Movie...
ON HER BIRTHDAY...
If you haven't seen this movie...
I would highly recommend it...
Claire Danes is incredible...
What was your favorite Emmy moment?

Friday, August 27, 2010

Do You Recognize These Masked Men?










Preschool

I have called and called about Preschool for Aidan Kale...
Frustrated as I heard he would need to be potty trained to enroll...
He is more than ready and it broke my heart...
 This disease was limiting my baby...
BUT...
We FINALLY found a class with one open spot...
Where he does not have to be potty trained...
With his good buddy in the same class...
I am thrilled...
AND nervous...
My stomach is in knots...
I printed out his supply list with tears in my eyes...
{A backpack!}
My palms got sweaty wondering if he had the RIGHT school clothes...
Would they change his diaper often enough to avoid reoccurring diaper rash...
I broke the news to Aidan Kale last night while we played on the swing set...
I explained that he would not go to Mema's and Papa's for three hours, two days a week...
I asked if he wanted to go to school...
Assured him he did NOT have to...
He looked at me...
And very gently said...
Momma, I will be okay...
And it was then I knew he would be...

Thursday, August 26, 2010

My Mature Wife Behavior...

Last night I was sensitive and grumpy...
Irritated and anxious...
Taking it out on my husband...
Not that he was perfect by any means...
But I didn't have my usual patience and humor...
The argument was ridiculous really...
Yet I could not for the life of me see it that way...
So I quietly locked myself in the bathroom...
Ran a bath...
And let him take care of the kids...
Getting them fed and to bed all by himself...
If that wasn't enough...
Then I ignored him...
Yep...
Did not say one word...
Even when he spoke to me...
And then just to show him how seriously frustrated {and mature} I was...
When I was ready for bed...
I went into the living room only to see he had fallen asleep on the couch in a very uncomfortable position...
And I left him there...
To wake up with a sore neck and aching back...
As I slept soundly and comfortably in an empty king size bed...

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Saying Goodbye...

I went to a funeral today...
A very dear friend lost her mom on Saturday...
A tragic accident...
A husband lost his wife...
Grandchildren lost a Grandmother...
And though I only met her a few times...
My heart aches for my friend...
For the loss I know she feels and will feel...
For the way she holds her head high...
Yet I know her heart is low...
For the tears in her eyes...
And the tremble in her voice...
I love this friend...
Who is the most unselfish person I have ever encountered...
She has housed me when I needed a place to stay...
She has supported me though it was hard...
She has built me up...
Made me laugh...
And such a part of me wanted to DO something today...
Help her in all the ways she has helped me...
But all I could do...
Was be there...
So I was...
And for the briefest of moments...
I wasn't tending to diapers...
Work...
Laundry...
I wasn't hurrying off the phone...
Typing short emails...
And breaking up fights...
I was a friend...
I gave her my undivided attention...
And though what I could do is NOTHING compared to her loss...
I hope she felt in that moment...
As important as she has always made me and all those around her feel...

Monday, August 23, 2010

A*I*D*A*N

I wanted to transform the letters of AIDAN without painting...
I used felt baseball and star stickers...
It took very little time and very little money and I LOVE how they turned out...



I will be linking this super easy project...


Lucky Star Lane Lucky Linky...
The Girl Creative
Shabby Nest Frugal Friday...

Sunday, August 22, 2010