I Don't Know How She Does It...

Simple...

She DOESN'T...

Or at least she doesn't do anything well...

Once an OCD sufferer {who has been known to clean her ceiling fan in her birthday suit on her way to the shower when she glanced up and saw dust}...

Currently has only cleaned her house once in 6 months...

Whose idea of having the laundry caught up is baskets full of clean clothes sitting in various places {where she has carried them pretending that she might fold them} throughout the house...

Who finds amazing decorating ideas on Pinterest...

Pins them, buys the supplies...

But never gets around to attempting most of them...

Who says parenting comes first yet spends at least 9 hours a day commuting and working...

And then comes home irritated with the people who have cursed at her all day to a full sink of dirty dishes...

Unfolded laundry...

Boxes of decorations needing to be displayed perfectly for Halloween...

And two boys who want to help...

BUT who she will quickly lose her temper with because she can't get it all done...

So instead of putting them to bed and doing dishes, folding laundry...

She will fall asleep in one of their beds, snuggling them...

Hoping they know she adores them...

Smelling their sweet, sweaty heads and praying that God watches over and protects them...

And the next morning she will get up and start all over again...

 Generally 5 minutes late to a work meeting...

Riddled with guilt over the attention she could not give when Kam asked for her to hold him...

Or Aidan begged her to stay home...

Knowing she fell asleep rather than spending time with her husband...

And that he is probably feeling a little neglected as well...

The employee who never has any vacation or sick leave because she's exhausted both during maternity leave, Bowel Management in Cincinnati, various school events and sick kiddos...

Who would rather resort to a pill for weight loss because it requires way less time than exercise...

Does it sound like she does it all?

NO...

I can promise she doesn't...

Because that person is me...

And every single day I know I fail in everything I do just a little bit...

But failing my kids hurts my soul...

Makes me doubt my worth...

For now my body must physically sit in a cubicle...

But not my heart...

I just started reading "I Don't Know How She Does It"

 in preparation for seeing the movie {I have to read the book first or I won't read it after I see the movie - weird I know}...

And within the first chapter was such raw honesty I immediately fell in love...

Now let's just hope I can find time to read the entire book before it's due back at the library and I accumulate enough in late fees that I could have just bought the book...
{I have actually tried reading while driving}

SIGH...

How do you manage it all?

Pre-K...

After much deliberation...

 We moved Aidan Kale up from Primary {where his friends from toddler class would be} to the Pre-K class this year...

He is one of the youngest in his class...

His very good friend switched schools...

I do not know his teacher from High School...

And we are not Facebook friends {which means I cannot message her at midnight when I am freaking out}...

But what breaks my heart more than any of that...

What shakes my Mommy heart to its core...

Is that this year...

HE cares...

He wants to make friends...

He wants to be liked...

He stresses out about being late...

Not getting his "boa" project completed...

Because when he walks into his classroom as I stand back and he greets the entire room with "hi guys"...

I cannot protect him...

I cannot logically expect {though I prefer to be illogical} his teacher to treat him any differently than the other 11 students...

To her he is Aidan...

M,W,F...

Her job is to prepare him for Kindergarten...

To me he is my first born...
The baby I carried for 9 months...
And everyday he goes to school I worry...
This isn't his first year...
But it is the first year that he isn't in diapers...
He could have an accident...
They might say he isn't ready for Kindergarten...
Another child might hurt his feelings...
So while he is obviously ready for the school year...

Mommy clearly isn't...

And though I won't be there to watch over my boys...

At least they can take care of each other...

School Days...

Kamden Kane 2-years...

Toddler Class...

Teachers...

 Miss Erin and Miss Chelsey...

My baby isn't a baby anymore...

This Is Why I Watch Grey's...

Meredith: You think that true love is the only thing that can crush your heart; that will take your life and light it up or destroy it. Then you become a mother.
-----------------------------------

{cue my tears}

~I couldn't have said it better myself~

Not Just ANY Drive Thru...

One Sunday morning when husband had to work...

The boys and I piled into our SUV and drove to Exotic Animal Paradise in Strafford, Missouri...

Normally I don't attempt taking the boys out of town by myself...

 BUT Exotic Animal Paradise is a DRIVE-THRU Zoo...

Which the boys and I found to be more fun than any other zoo we had ever been to...

Where else can you feed animals right outside your car window?...

Come face to face with THIS...

Or a very hungry zebra...

Have you ever been this close to a deer?

{Yes he is REAL}

Or this...???

Have you ever seen a half zebra/half donkey?...

Aidan preferred to throw his food out the window...

To animals who weren't very close...

While Kam was a little more brave...

In addition to the drive-thru zoo our admission covered a small walk-thru zoo as well...

After buying each boy a pair of Safari Binoculars...

We headed home...

Talking and laughing about the day's events...

So much so that I think Daddy felt a little left out...

But we told him we could go back sometime just for him...

Final Days of Summer...

Even though it was a miserably hot summer...

We managed to have a little bit of fun here and there...

Staying in the shade as much as possible...

We made new friends...

But kept the old...

And I watched as my boys' relationship...

Grew...

Into FRIENDSHIP...