It's Possible...

When I was growing up I didn't dream of being a Mommy...

I didn't have strong maternal instincts that were fulfilled the moment I found out I was expecting...

In fact I assumed I would become a Mommy... Eventually...

But it wasn't a priority...

At the risk of being criticized I have to admit that though I liked children just fine...

I doubted my ability to be a good Mommy...

The ability to give more than I received...

Instead I dreamed of being a married...

Yet independent...

Successful and wealthy career woman...

While I am not saying those are not admirable goals...

At this point in my life...

They seem superficial...

And simply naive...

I would love to say that the minute I saw the plus sign...

The instincts I so lacked kicked in...

But they didn't...

In fact after the most excruciating pain of my entire life...

They didn't even appear the first moment I held Aidan Kale...

There never was just ONE moment...

I became a Mommy in mind, body and soul over a period of time...

I realized it a while back...

When even my best day at work could not compare to my worst day at home...

When my craving for moments with my children exceeded any want I might have...

And all those dreams...

All those goals...

Make me smile...

Because I realize that while I was dreaming...

God knew His plans...

He knew I would welcome a baby boy who would teach me more about love than anything I ever imagined...

He knew the second would show me that unconditional love is possible no matter how many times it's divided...

He knew I would be pushed to my limits...

Doubt myself at every turn...

But that ultimately my life would be the life I never dreamed of but always wanted...

It's possible God provides the deepest desires of your heart...

But to see them...

You have to separate yourself from what you thought you always wanted...

And appreciate all you've been given...